My Dream, His Dream

This weekend, one of my close friends sent her eldest son off to college. She’s not the first one to do so among my friends and family, and surely there’s nothing out of ordinary in sending our kids to college, but hers is the first one that made me think and feel. 

My friend's dream was for her son to pursue a career in medicine, to become a doctor or something in this line of business. Her son wanted to be a pilot. He was accepted in both faculties, which made things more interesting, as well as difficult. 

To have a choice is a gift, to choose is a battle.

We’ve heard phrases like it’s their life, not yours more often than not. I’ve preached those words to others too. It’s easy to say them with only logic as the foundation of our thoughts; it’s not easy when our heart weighs in. It’s easy to dismiss the struggle when it happened to some strangers, it’s not so when it happened to a person we know, to a kid we know. 

I can so imagine, if it were my kids, I would have definitely argued with them about their choices, pestering and brainwashing them, because letting go of my dream I have for them is hard, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. I didn’t have this choice when I grew up, and as much as I vow not to take away those choices from my kids, I can’t shake this old-fashion parenting control off my brain. 

That’s why what my friend did for her son is admirable and so inspiring.

At the end, she and her husband support their son’s decision to join the pilot school. 

This is a HUGE deal. 

Not only our society has a tendency to think that becoming a doctor or a banker is more prestigious than any other careers, but for a parent who has a reservation to flying, my friend’s blessing speaks VOLUME.

In her one single sentence, “This is the time to let him go so that he can catch his dream” my friend has won three battles:        

1.       It’s a day-to-day battle to let our children go and be an adult. It’s especially hard when what we want is not the same as what they want, because it’s not just our kid we need to let go, but also our dream we have for them. It’s a constant battle to trust their choices and respect their decision without judgment or harassment because our instinct to take over and protect them is so strong, it’s nearly impossible to just sit and watch and nod. 
2.         It’s a real battle to overcome our own fear and reservation.
3.         It’s a battle to accept and live our children’s dream as our own. It's the right thing to do, but it doesn't always come easy.

Which mother would not cry when her son said, “Please don’t cry. If God’s will is for me to become a pilot, then He will show me the way.” I can’t believe this was coming from an eighteen-year-old boy. I’m sure my friend’s tears have created another ocean in our planet no matter how many times her son told her not to cry.

      

    I’m so proud of my friend. Believe me, not everyone is strong enough to do what she does, passing those three battles in flying colors and with an open heart.

      

    I’m so proud of the boy, our future pilot, because not every kid is strong enough to know what they want and be able to stand there and comfort (not confront) his parents.

    Good luck, boy. This is no longer your dream you’re carrying, but the dream of many young people out there who, I hope, would see your choice in life as an inspiration. Your dream is also the dream of every mother and father (not just your parents) who has put aside their egos and wants so that their children can live theirs.

The Side Effect of John Green

Many of you know how mad I fangirl TFIOS. (It's super mad. It's mad, mad, and mad). But I bet a few of you know why I adore John Green like mad. Is it because he’s a great author, close to being a superauthor? Well, yes. In writing TFIOS, he is a superauthor. But sadly, I don’t dig his other books.

There’s more to it to me than him being a superauthor. It‘s his other quality, the one that makes him a superman, the one that lands him in TIME 100, the one that earns him a worldwide reputation as the most lovable author, the rock god in literary world.
He connects with young people, teens, and adolescents. He inspires them, motivates them to do good, to do creative, to live fully to their talents. He unites them under nerdfighter and dftba and other stuff.

Yes, there are many great authors out there, even greater than one John Green, but did any of those move people, young people especially, as positively, as fiercely as John and Hank? I doubt it. This is what set him apart from the other celebrities. He’s doing this, with his own hands. Not just talking or hiring somebody to do it for him. He does it himself.

Just like what Shailene wrote in his Time 100 dedication.
“But he doesn’t just listen to young adults. He treats every human he meets as their own planet, rather than simply one of his moons. He sees people with curiosity, compassion, grace and excitement.”


If you think this quality is nonworthy, just think for minute. You think influencing and motivating and talking to teens are easy? That understanding them is piece of cake? I can’t even manage one teen who lives under the same roof as me, let alone millions of them worldwide. Regardless of other quality or misquality that John Green might possess, we must admit that he’s a good influence to young people. And in the midst of uncertainties and other negativity in the world we live in, some good no matter how small, is still good.
And that’s why I adore John Green.
This, my friends, is the force of John Green. TFIOS is just the side effect of John Green.


My husband wonders if my obsession with John Green would ever die down. I don’t know. Guess we need to find out.

Happy TFIOS day, everyone!


June 6, 2014

Big, High, and Almighty

My six year old daughter told me yesterday, "I want to change my last name."

Me (rolled eyes dramatically): Yeah? To what?

Daughter : Obama. My name would be Nina Obama.

Me (laughed, and then stayed speechless)

Moral of the conversation :
"If you have a dream, aim it high, big, and almighty. Don't settle for a second best."

American Idol 9th season

Okay Lee, you’ve won the 9th American Idol title. Congratulations! If we want to be honest, Crystal’s singing performance was way ahead of yours last night.. but, again, it’s OK. It’s been decided and let’s move on. (Hey, I am the Queen of Bitchiness. This was my first reaction to the news)

Everyone would –no doubt- agree that Lee and Crystal were the best singers this season. They gave out everything they’ve got - their talent , their confidence and their determination (as Simon said, 10 out of 10).
When I heard from my friends that Lee won, I couldn’t believe it. I watched the finale twice. Twice! And in both of them (haha), Crystal was the better singer than Lee. In paper, Crystal had won the title, the jury kind of believed it too. So what’s the matter? My friend and my sis-in-law tried to answer my thundering question. ‘Lee is more commercial, both the face and the voice.’ ‘America fell in love with Lee cos he isn’t boring, he is cute and vulnerable, like a cutie little puppy.’ ‘If Casey James or Katie Stevens were in the finale, they could win too. These two were more commercially sellable than the rest of the contestants.’ ‘Well, Lee is commercially sellable sih, Mel. Not fair, but that’s the truth.’
So, talent and determination won’t guarantee you to win the title, huh? Maybe not, but not to worry.

Determination

Talented ordinary women with extraordinary determination
(inspired by Julie & Julia the movie)

I watched this movie a tad too late compare to my other friends. I only watched it once and immediately fell in love with the characters. Two women - in different life and in different time – bound to fill their own sense of purpose through the art of cooking. One started just to fill in her spare time while serving as a diplomat’s wife in the early years. The other one- in much more modern time – was trying to escape her constant feeling of failure and her inability to finish anything in her life.

Both women met challenges in their ordinary lives, but the way they pursue their goals was extraordinary. I once again learn that some dreams don’t take shape in our early lives. We go search them only to go home empty handed before they finally come knocking our front door, usually in a time when we least expect it. Rejections and prejudice always bring our hope and dreams down, but to define and to keep the dream is the art of determination.

I am much interested in the Julie character in this movie. She was a lost puppy surrounded by a pack of friends whom all had accomplished something great in their lives. She was the unhappy-under pressure loser. She once had a dream of being a writer, but never had the willingness to finish her novel. In one of her most frustrated moment, she decided to start something small, something that combines both of her talents – cooking and writing. So there came the Julie&Julia blog – a blog with a simple goal, which is to write her own experience in cooking all of the 514 recipes in Julia Child’s cooking book in exactly 365 days. She determined to finish her project. Along the way, she was alive. She found her happiness and her sense of purpose.
There were downs, many downs, in both of these women’s stories. There were disappointments, tears, and anger. But there was also determination. A determination so strong that it made them keeps going. Not only that, they had a marvelous time in the process too.

What does mellyberry mean?

Ada beberapa teman yang bertanya apa arti nama ‘mellyberry’ yang saya pakai di blog saya. Inilah cerita sepintas mengenai latar belakang lahirnya nama kebangsaan tersebut.

Semuanya berawal dari sebuah benda mungil bernama blackberry...

Long long time ago...saya tidak suka blackberry, bisa dibilang pendukung grup anti-blackberry. Tidak perlulah dijelaskan alasan amburadul saya membenci blackberry. Saya sering sekali mengejek teman-teman saya yang ber-blackberry. Diantara sekian banyak teman saya yang memakai blackberry , ada satu orang yang selalu menasihati saya berkenaan dengan sifat anti-blackberry saya. “Kalau tak kenal, maka tak sayang.” Kita sebut Ibu yang bijaksana ini dengan inisial 805LP. Beliau ini sosialita kondang, jadi untuk alasan keamanan perlu bagi saya untuk menyamarkan nama aslinya. Sekedar tambahan saja, 805LP jugalah yang memperkenalkan Facebook kepada saya yang asli orang gaptek. (Ini efek positif kalau hang out dengan sosialita tampaknya. *nyengir*).

Lalu tibalah suatu hari saya mendapat hadiah blackberry dari sang suami. Aihh senangnya. Segala mitos dan cibiran anti blackberry saya langsung sirna sekejap, secepat gelembung permen karet meletus. Memang benar kata Ibu 805LP tadi, tak kenal maka tak sayang. Hidup saya serasa lebih sibuk dengan hadirnya si mainan ajaib ini. Saat saya berhasil mengaktifkan blackberry saya, si Ibu 805LP ini dengan sukacitanya menulis status sebagai berikut “Welcome Mellyberry”. Ibu 805LP ini orang yang baik hati, jadi saya yakin bahwa status tadi ditulis dengan segala ketulusan hatinya. Memang benar-benar berniat mem-welcome saya ke dunia blackberry yang gegap gempita. Tapi, karena dulunya saya terkenal pedas kalau menyindir para pemakai blackberry, ucapan welcome mellyberry membuat saya jadi merasa bersalah. “Halah, dari dulu kek bergabung dengan para berries, pakai protes-protesan segala.”

Chasing A Dream

Chasing a dream is a hard work. Sometimes it seems so far away that it makes us feel hopeless. Yet the other times, it seems so close that we can smell it and almost snatch it.

I've been chasing my dreams since forever. Some of them came true, some of them not yet... I keep on chasing my dreams, up and down the hills in my high heels, skinny jeans and carrying an oversized handbag. Gee, no wonder I can't reach some of mine.
I should've worn Crocs, short pants and carried a backpack.

Chasing a dream should reflect who I am, not the person I want everybody to see. I should make myself comfortable in chasing my dreams...and you should be too.