Raising Teens

Raising teens is HARD HARD HARD. Don't look at me. I'm not here to give you answers. I don't know how to do it either because, hey, I'm here for the first time too and I'm still learning. Surprisingly, or not, the only thing I've learned so far is that these teens could surprise me, humble me even, if only I ... listen.
Seriously. It’s that simple.
If they feel comfortable confiding in you, that's a big fat bonus. Use that trust well.

Raising teen means we need to put on our coaching jersey. You don't get to play the game with them every time, but you can still watch them play and yell out a few pointers from the side field every now and then.

We need to be more their friend and less their dictator. Putting an arm around their shoulders works much better than putting chains around their ankles.

I remember a saying from Buddha. It goes like this : If you hold them too tight, they'll choke. You hold them too loose, they'll run wild without direction.

A good wisdom 😊

COVER REVEAL! Say Hello to Glynna and Ashton!

Genre: New Adult Paranormal Romance

Release Date: November 18, 2014

ABOUT Cupcakes & Kisses:

One bite of her luscious cupcakes and you just might fall in love…



Nineteen-year-old Glynna Balcora’s super power is baking. A young witch, she’s lived her entire life tucked away in the quaint city of Spokane, WA with her domineering aunt and sweetheart of a grandmother. It’s not an ideal situation. Although Glynna loves her grandmother dearly, and treasures the special times they spend in their magical greenhouse, Glynna’s aunt keeps her niece on a tight leash using threats of vague enemies.



Since Glynna graduated from high school a few a months ago, her aunt’s be-home-before-dark curfew seems more ridiculous every day. It isn’t doing much for the young witch’s social life, either. With encouragement from her best friend, Glynna sneaks out one night to go to a bonfire party at the lake. There she has an unexpected encounter with Spokane’s most eligible bachelor, Ashton Bass. Glynna’s been crushing on Ashton since she was five years old. But when they share their first kiss, thunderstorms and lightning follow… and Glynna’s aunt realizes it’s time to tell the young witch the truth about who she really is.



Cupcakes & Kisses is the first book in a playful New Adult Romance trilogy…

Excerpt:

“Hey, watch it.” A dark figure looms in front of me. With the bonfire behind him, his face is all shadows, but the voice sounds vaguely familiar.



“Oh, sorry,” I yelp. “I didn’t mean—”



“To give me a shower?” The guy offers an amused smile.



My throat catches. Ashton Bass is standing in front of me. I’m too embarrassed to meet his gaze, so my eyes travel south. He’s wearing a dark fitted t-shirt with three white buttons at the top. God. I can’t believe I’m counting the buttons on his shirt. Or that I gave him a beer shower.



I glance around for a stack of napkins, a roll of paper towels, anything to dry him off. I find nothing. Desperate, I try to wipe off the spray with my bare hands... Huh? I press with one finger. No give. None. When did Ashton get wash-board abs? I slide my finger down. One… two… three… eight?! Eight?! Not even Leif has an eight-pack, and he’s a brick wall. I freeze. I can’t believe it. I’m actually counting his abs. My gaze travels back up only to be trapped by Aston’s startling azure eyes—and his famous panty-dropping boyish grin.
“Oops!! So-sorrry,” I stammer, and take a step backwards. “Not sure what that was all about.” His eyes will not let go of mine as the warm feelings heating my insides build. In fact, they’ll betray me, shortly, if I don’t watch out.



“Oh, I don’t mind at all. Besides, you seemed to be enjoying yourself.” His white teeth shine in the moonlight as another blush-fest attacks by face. Thank god, it’s the middle of the night and not the middle of the day.



“You have to forgive my friend, Ashton. She doesn’t get out much. And, well, her encounters with the male chest have been severely limited.”



Kristeen’s intervention is no help at all, and I don’t miss the lingering look she gives Ashton’s well-toned chest. A bitter pinch grips my heart as I imagine strangling my BFF.



Oh. God. Of. Cupcakes! My emotions are totally out-of-control. “Kristeen!” I half-whisper, half-scream.



“No?” Ashton’s one-word question leaves his lopsided grin firmly in place.



This is becoming all shades of awkward. I squeeze my eyes shut. I’d give anything for a cupcake that could make me disappear after just one bite. Boy! That would be some recipe.



How I wish, wish, wish my magical abilities went beyond baking. Way beyond.



“No worries.”



I open one eye. Ashton’s grin has grown, if that’s possible. His perfect white teeth gleam in the firelight. I open my other eye. He brushes his hand over his forearms and shirt. “Just glad to see you out, Glynna.”



“You can thank me,” Kristeen says.



“Thank you, Krissy.”



“Please, everyone stopped calling me that in elementary school.”



Ashton digs around in one of the ice chests. “Sorry, didn’t mean to offend.” He hands me a wine cooler. “This might be more to your taste.”



“Thanks,” I mumble.



He grabs a couple more bottles of beer and gives each of us a half bow. “Enjoy the party, ladies.”



He walks away, backwards, smiling, firelight reflecting from those perfect chops. He must have his teeth whitened regularly because no one’s teeth are naturally that bright. When his left foot sinks into a low spot, his whole body dips, and he almost falls. Almost.



“Nice recovery,” Kristeen whispers.



I nod. Whenever Ashton Bass is within twenty yards of me, my tongue ties in knots and my heart races pell mell around my ribcage.

Goodreads

~ About the Authors ~ 

Heidi Garrett is the author of the Daughter of Light series, a fantasy about a young half-faerie, half-mortal searching for her place in the Whole. She's also the author of the contemporary fairy tale novella collection, Once Upon a Time Today. In these stand-alone retellings of popular and obscure fairy tales, adult characters navigate the deep woods of the modern landscape to find their Happily Ever Afters.



Heidi is collaborating with Billie Limpin to write The Magic Cupcake series, a special blend of magic, romance, and humor.



Heidi was born in Texas, and in an attempt to reside in as many cities in that state as she could, made it to Houston, Lubbock, Austin, and El Paso. She now lives in Eastern Washington state with her husband, their two cats, her laptop, and her Kindle. Being from the South, she often contemplates the magic of snow.

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Billie Limpin lives in the Philippines where the sun always shines and people always smile!

A  hopeless romantic inside and out, when Billie’s not swooning over a book boyfriend (which she often does!), you’ll probably catch her daydreaming (over a fictional character!). A reader by heart, and now a writer for the first time, she’s thrilled to put her daydreams into written words.

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~ Giveaway ~

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The Side Effect of John Green

Many of you know how mad I fangirl TFIOS. (It's super mad. It's mad, mad, and mad). But I bet a few of you know why I adore John Green like mad. Is it because he’s a great author, close to being a superauthor? Well, yes. In writing TFIOS, he is a superauthor. But sadly, I don’t dig his other books.

There’s more to it to me than him being a superauthor. It‘s his other quality, the one that makes him a superman, the one that lands him in TIME 100, the one that earns him a worldwide reputation as the most lovable author, the rock god in literary world.
He connects with young people, teens, and adolescents. He inspires them, motivates them to do good, to do creative, to live fully to their talents. He unites them under nerdfighter and dftba and other stuff.

Yes, there are many great authors out there, even greater than one John Green, but did any of those move people, young people especially, as positively, as fiercely as John and Hank? I doubt it. This is what set him apart from the other celebrities. He’s doing this, with his own hands. Not just talking or hiring somebody to do it for him. He does it himself.

Just like what Shailene wrote in his Time 100 dedication.
“But he doesn’t just listen to young adults. He treats every human he meets as their own planet, rather than simply one of his moons. He sees people with curiosity, compassion, grace and excitement.”


If you think this quality is nonworthy, just think for minute. You think influencing and motivating and talking to teens are easy? That understanding them is piece of cake? I can’t even manage one teen who lives under the same roof as me, let alone millions of them worldwide. Regardless of other quality or misquality that John Green might possess, we must admit that he’s a good influence to young people. And in the midst of uncertainties and other negativity in the world we live in, some good no matter how small, is still good.
And that’s why I adore John Green.
This, my friends, is the force of John Green. TFIOS is just the side effect of John Green.


My husband wonders if my obsession with John Green would ever die down. I don’t know. Guess we need to find out.

Happy TFIOS day, everyone!


June 6, 2014

Big, High, and Almighty

My six year old daughter told me yesterday, "I want to change my last name."

Me (rolled eyes dramatically): Yeah? To what?

Daughter : Obama. My name would be Nina Obama.

Me (laughed, and then stayed speechless)

Moral of the conversation :
"If you have a dream, aim it high, big, and almighty. Don't settle for a second best."

Kaum ibu dan urusan mengemudi

Sama seperti urusan barang elektronik, mesin, dan pertukangan, hal mengemudi juga termasuk di dalam salah satu daftar pekerjaan yang diyakini akan lebih baik hasilnya jika dikerjakan oleh pria. Sudah berabad-abad lamanya, kita selalu disisihkan oleh pria di dalam urusan berkendara. Malahan ada buku yang menjelaskan secara ilmiah, mengapa pria lebih baik dari wanita dalam hal mengemudi. Menurut para ahli tersebut, hal ini berhubungan dengan cara kerja otak yang berbeda antara pria dan wanita. Anyway, tulisan ini tidak memihak kepada salah satu jender dan tidak ditulis dari segi ilmiah pula. Tetap dalam keamburaduannya, kita hanya mau mengamati suka duka mengemudi dari kacamata kita sendiri.

Entah kenapa, kalau kita melihat ibu-ibu seusia kita mengemudi, otomatis hanya ada 2 kemungkinan. Kemungkinan pertama adalah rasa kasihan : “Ckckck pantesan amburadul nyetirnya, lha wong ibu-ibu.” Kemungkinan kedua adalah rasa jengkel : “Ampunnn ampunn! Pantesan amburadul. Dasar ibu-ibu!”

Menurut saya, mengemudi itu sama dengan pekerjaan lainnya yang memerlukan waktu latihan. Kita menjadi bisa karena biasa. Kalau dulu waktu SD kita hanya mengetik dengan 2 jari, lambat laun menjadi 10 jari. Anak batita bisa membaca 3 huruf, sekarang kita bisa membaca ensiklopedia. Bisa karena biasa bukan? Nyetir juga (seharusnya) sama saja.

Hanya segelintir manusia dari kalangan kita yang mahir dalam mengemudi. Namun kebanyakan dari kita pas-pasan saja teknik mengemudinya. Bagaikan tingkatan kungfu, tidak semua orang bisa menjadi master shaolin. Yang menjadi master shaolin biasanya sudah berlatih tenaga dalam , bertapa bertahun-tahun, dan sudah mendalami kitab rahasia.

Menuju kehidupan yang lebih langsing

Problema klasik post-holiday di kalangan manusia awam adalah bertambahnya ukuran lingkar perut, pinggang, dan paha akibat pola dan jadwal makan yang berantakan. Pada saat liburan, kita makan berdasarkan mood, bukan need. Happy mood makan, tired mood makan, shopping mood makan. Kesuksesan sebuah liburan diukur dari keberhasilan kita memaksimalkan kapasitas mood makan. Maka tak heran bila banyak orang ingin dirinya bertambah langsing sepulang liburan. Paling tidak, kembali ke ukuran semula lah. Saya tak terkecuali. Apalagi setelah dikomentari kiri kanan,"Gendutan ya, Melllll..."

Jadilah saya serius merumuskan rencana untuk menuju kehidupan yang lebih langsing. Enaknya kalau punya tujuan yang sama dengan teman-teman seperjuangan. Disambut baik dan dijalankan bersama-sama. Ternyata, urusan diet itu susah sekali. Selalu ada rangsangan buat makan. Selalu ada alasan untuk membuka kulkas dan mengunjungi dapur/kantin, dan mengintip meja makan. Niat dan disiplin diri sendiri yang kokoh sangat penting untuk kesuksesan sebuah diet. *ehm*

Tidak hanya satu tujuan langsing yang ingin saya sukseskan tahun ini. Saya punya dua target kehidupan langsing. Selain langsing fisik, saya juga ingin langsing pikiran. Artinya, saya tidak mau terlalu banyak mikir yang berat dan tidak-tidak. Saya tidak mau membebani pikiran saya dengan pikiran negatif dan rasa cemas yang berlebihan. Ini semua membuat pikiran saya gemuk, kelebihan lemak jahat yang tak perlu. Kalau mau langsing fisik saja susah, langsing pikiran adalah juaranya. Jika skala kesulitan langsing badan itu 10, skala untuk langsing pikiran adalah 1000. Susaaah pol!

Kita dan Rumput tetangga

Saya termasuk wanita yang beruntung. Di usia yang tak lagi belia, saya masih boleh bangga beradu kecantikan kulit dengan para wanita yang jauh lebih muda. Dan semuanya ini saya dapatkan tanpa embel-embel dagangan kosmetik jutaan atau jimat dokter kulit atau mandi air susu dicampur bunga mawar. Malahan saya tidak terlalu menggubris urusan kulit wajah dan badan.

Lucunya, justru orang lain yang selalu memperhatikan kulit saya ini. Dari tukang salon, penjahit baju – dari yang kondang sampai yang rumahan, tukang pijat, penjual kosmetik, sampai ke suami saya dan teman-teman saya. Saya sering ditanya, minum jamu apa, pakai kosmetik apa, perawatan kulit di mana dan lain sebagainya.

Seperti manusia biasa lainnya, saya justru ribet sekali mengeluh soal bagian-bagian tubuh lain yang saya rasa kurang sempurna. Mata yang sipit sebelah, posisi gigi yang miring, rambut yang tipis, perut yang bergelembung tidak rata seperti papan, paha yang bersayap, badan yang kurang tinggi semampai dan masih banyak lagi. Tiap hari bangun pagi, pergi berkaca, dan langsung memergoki (kembali) segala kekurangan fisik saya tadi. Tak sekalipun saya meluangkan waktu untuk mengamati keindahan kulit saya yang tersohor itu, boro-boro mau meluangkan waktu untuk merawatnya. Prioritas utama saya yaitu menguruskan perut dan menghilangkan sayap di paha. Kalau perlu tidak usah makan sama sekali, sampai sakit maag hebat membuat saya lemas. Meluangkan waktu memeriksa serta mengukur apakah komposisi gigi saya yang miring bisa mendadak lurus dalam semalam. Sibuk menghitung helai rambut yang rontok tiap kali disisir. Sibuk berkhayal bagaimana cantiknya saya kalau badan saya tinggi di atas 1.5 m bak peragawati.
Terkadang, waktu saya juga habis mengagumi apa yang dimiliki orang lain, tetapi yang tidak dimiliki saya. ”Wah, si Anu kurus langsing ya. Perutnya rata lho.” Atau “Beruntung sekali si Anu. Matanya belo, bulu matanya lentik.” “Coba kalau saya bisa setinggi si Anu, semua peragawati lewaaat dah.” Kalau ada yang memuji saya, “Kulitmu halus dan wajahmu tidak jerawatan,” sayanya cuma melengos masem. “Plueassee dweeh…”

Money Talks Bulls**t Walks

Di suatu sore yang panas, saya bercurhat dengan seorang sahabat nyentrik bernama C lewat salah satu media chatting. Percakapannya singkat, tetapi drama percakapan ini lalu berkembang-biak lebih hidup di dalam otak saya. Seakan-akan per-chatting-an 10 menit tadi berubah menjadi percakapan face-to-face beneran di sebuah kedai kopi Starbucks... lengkap dengan Lattee, cinnamon rolls, blackberries, oversized handbags, dan Marlboro (yang terakhir ini khusus buat C).

“Heran ya.. kenapa banyak sekali orang munafik di dunia ini,” keluh saya dengan nada putus asa.

“Baru tau loe?” sahut C cuek.

“Gue selalu kena ama orang beginian, yang mengakunya suci, sok berkelas, sok berpendidikan, tapi kenyataannya jauh euy. Ngelihat semuanya kok dari pikiran yang sempit. Gak open-minded.”

“Money Talks bulls**t walks.”

“Judgemental, prejudice...“

“Money talks bulls**t walks.”

“Coward, sok tau, reseee deh pokoknya. Benci banget ama orang-orang berjenis pretentious begini. Benci, Benci. BENCI!”

“Money talks bulls**t walks.”

“Could you please STOP saying that! Focus, girl, focus.”

“Lha ini fokus. Itu jawaban dari semua keluh kesah cengeng loe.”

“Lucu kan, C. Tuhan saja tidak pernah judgemental, ya gak? Orang yang berdosa aja masih dianggap sederajat, tidak dihakimi secara membabi buta. Apalagi disalah-salahkan, di-asbun-asbunkan, diejek-ejek. Lha kenapa manusia yang ngaku beragama dan berpendidikan banyak yang tingkahnya gak begitu? Why why ?”

“As I said...”

“DON’T!! Ya, ya gue tahu.. money talks bulls**t walks.”

“Temen gue juga banyak yang taking advantage abis-abisan. Yang menghakimi gue dengan norma-norma mereka sendiri.Tapi lucunya di depan gue manis banget, apalagi kalau ada perlunya. Jangan tanya deh kalau di belakang gue..”

Kita dan Teman Sejati

Banyak pepatah bijaksana yang menjelaskan apa artinya seorang teman sejati. Wejangan mengenai teman sejati biasanya berkisar kepada sifat-sifat seorang teman sejati, yaitu selalu siap di sisi kita pada saat senang dan susah. Wejangan selanjutnya menegaskan betapa sedikitnya orang-orang di sekeliling kita yang bisa disebut teman sejati. Teman sejati itu bak barang mewah, yang tidak mungkin bisa didapat secara diskon, buy one get one free atau di acara midnight sale. Ada yang mengistilahkan teman sejati itu ibarat branded product limited edition. Kalau sudah begini, keluarlah segala macam keluh kesah kita, yah mana bisa kebeli dengan harga segitu, jumlahnya limited banget, masa mesti rebutan antri berhari-hari. Mesti beli yang asli kah? Beli yang imitasi aja kali sudah cukup...kan gak ada yang tau ini... mungkin betul, tapi kita sendiri kan tahu. Masa mau membohongi diri sendiri?

Di umur kita yang sekarang, mencari teman sejati itu susah-susah gampang. Agak berbeda dengan saat kita sekolah dulu. Pada saat itu kita dikeliligi oleh begitu banyak manusia-manusia sebaya. Kita tidak mau berteman pun, tetap saja kebanjiran teman.
Dengan bertambahnya usia, kesempatan kita untuk mendapat teman baru biasanya lebih terbatas. Karena kita ketemunya orang-orang yang itu-itu lagi, di lingkungan yang itu-itu lagi. Kita juga semakin menyadari betapa berharganya teman-teman sejati.

Perlu ada sekolah atau les privat buat menjadi teman sejati? Sebenarnya sih tidak perlu, karena kita kan sudah punya hati nurani. Yang biasanya menjadi problem adalah kita terlalu berharap bahwa orang lainlah yang harus berusaha untuk menjadi teman sejati BUAT kita. Kita sering lupa kalau kita sendiri bisa menjadi teman sejati BUAT orang lain.

What does mellyberry mean?

Ada beberapa teman yang bertanya apa arti nama ‘mellyberry’ yang saya pakai di blog saya. Inilah cerita sepintas mengenai latar belakang lahirnya nama kebangsaan tersebut.

Semuanya berawal dari sebuah benda mungil bernama blackberry...

Long long time ago...saya tidak suka blackberry, bisa dibilang pendukung grup anti-blackberry. Tidak perlulah dijelaskan alasan amburadul saya membenci blackberry. Saya sering sekali mengejek teman-teman saya yang ber-blackberry. Diantara sekian banyak teman saya yang memakai blackberry , ada satu orang yang selalu menasihati saya berkenaan dengan sifat anti-blackberry saya. “Kalau tak kenal, maka tak sayang.” Kita sebut Ibu yang bijaksana ini dengan inisial 805LP. Beliau ini sosialita kondang, jadi untuk alasan keamanan perlu bagi saya untuk menyamarkan nama aslinya. Sekedar tambahan saja, 805LP jugalah yang memperkenalkan Facebook kepada saya yang asli orang gaptek. (Ini efek positif kalau hang out dengan sosialita tampaknya. *nyengir*).

Lalu tibalah suatu hari saya mendapat hadiah blackberry dari sang suami. Aihh senangnya. Segala mitos dan cibiran anti blackberry saya langsung sirna sekejap, secepat gelembung permen karet meletus. Memang benar kata Ibu 805LP tadi, tak kenal maka tak sayang. Hidup saya serasa lebih sibuk dengan hadirnya si mainan ajaib ini. Saat saya berhasil mengaktifkan blackberry saya, si Ibu 805LP ini dengan sukacitanya menulis status sebagai berikut “Welcome Mellyberry”. Ibu 805LP ini orang yang baik hati, jadi saya yakin bahwa status tadi ditulis dengan segala ketulusan hatinya. Memang benar-benar berniat mem-welcome saya ke dunia blackberry yang gegap gempita. Tapi, karena dulunya saya terkenal pedas kalau menyindir para pemakai blackberry, ucapan welcome mellyberry membuat saya jadi merasa bersalah. “Halah, dari dulu kek bergabung dengan para berries, pakai protes-protesan segala.”

Pu Tien and my comfort zone

This weekend was my in-laws’ birthdays and the family has decided to celebrate it in a far away restaurant called Pu Tien in Sawah Besar. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I received the complete address of the restarurant in my phone. Was this for real? Would they be requiring passports to enter that zip code? For a person who lives mostly in the South (suburb) part of the town, my farthest trip to the city is to Bundaran HI and then back. Even though I heard so many people telling me interesting stories about the life beyond Bundaran HI, I was never been intrigued to visit. So, this weekend apparently I was forced to try something new, entirely.

Talking about ‘try something new’, I am kinda pathetic in this department. I’ve been teaching my kids to always ‘try something new’ and keep their minds open. And I usually brag to other people that I am the champion of the ‘trying something new’ stuff (at least I am a better try-er than my husband). But everytime when situation presents me with something completely different from what I know, I dutifully retreat back. I guess what I forgot to say all along is that, I don’t mind trying something new as long as it still lies within my comfort zone. Bundaran HI is my comfort zone. Anything new within my borders are acceptable. Meaning, I am willing to give it a try. Unfortunately (for my mind), anything new outside my borders are not-that-easily-acceptable.

How many times do you feel that way? Don’t we usually judge that ‘something new outside my border’ is bad? It’s not comfortable to be out of our comfort zone, indeed. But staying too long in our comfort zone makes us lazy and ignorant. The simple answer to this problem is to (simply) try something new a little step at a time. And for me, this little step was driving accross my Kingdom to the FarAway Land to have a birthday party with my family.

Bahasaku, bosomu, and my language

Tulisan satu ini sudah pasti bakalan diprotes oleh banyak orang. Yang pertama, bisa diprotes oleh orang-orang yang menganut kosa kata dan tata bahasa yang benar dan rapi. (Tulisan ini akan ditulis dalam lebih dari satu bahasa dan dialek). Kedua, mungkin akan diprotes oleh kalangan akademik yang mengatakan pentingnya satu mother language for the children. Mereka mungkin benar, tapi ini bukan tulisan ilmiah untuk mengklaim benar atau tidaknya suatu teori. This is my story dan story dari kebanyakan teman-teman kita yang dibesarkan dalam suatu lingkungan yang multi language and multi culture.

Saya orang Jawa asli. Bukan Jawa halus ala Solo atau Jogja, tapi Jawa Surabaya. Bahasa Jawa Surabaya iki rodo khas, blasteran antara Jawa dan Madura. Bahasane keras, penuh pisuhan (swearing words) , tapi very very intimate dan penuh rasa kekeluargaan. Selain itu tentunya saya fasih berbahasa Indonesia, lalu sedikit Mandarin sana sini. Mandarin yang saya dapat saat saya masih kecil itu pun bukan Mandarin baku, tapi blasteran Jawa Mandarin. Makanya kalau mau dipakai di event internasional, orang yang bukan Jawa pasti tidak ngerti bahasa Mandarinnya Wong Jowo. Pada saat kuliah, saya pindah ke Jakarta, jadilah gue canggih berdialek ala orang Ibukota. Loe dan gue getu loh. Lalu pergi ke USA, tinggal di daerah West Coast. Jadilah berbicara English What's up, man?. Sewaktu bekerja, saya beruntung dikelilingi oleh banyak orang dari bangsa lain. Diantara sebegitu banyaknya bahasa dan dialek di tempat kerja, yang paling lekat adalah Sing-Lish. Haiya you kepo one ah, you tell me. You want, you take lah.. This one can’t do lah, too complicated meh.

Terus saya married dengan orang Jakarta made in Ujung Pandang. Wah, kalau sudah dikelilingi sanak saudara asal Makassar, jadilah ko jangang makang ikang sama pegang hangfong. (kau jangan makan ikan sama pegang handphone). Wow, ini dialek tergampang yang pernah saya temui. Cukup tambah saja huruf “g” di setiap akhir kata, kadang-kadang buang sedikit embel-embel ‘mi’, ‘kodong’, ‘toh’, bereslah sudah. Sampai suatu saat saya diminta untuk mematikan lampu... “ko bunuh mi tuh lampu.” Alamak, dibunuh pake apa?

Love is a Magical Thing

My friend, the collegegirl, once asked me to write something about “love”, “magical moments”, “there’s a heart inside”, “something romantic.” Saya bisanya cuma meringis nyinyir, “Haree genee masih seputar love dan sejenisnya? Valentine udah lewat boo..” Tapi tentu saja saya tidak sedemikian resenya menjawab permintaan sang collegegirl. Hanya bisa maklum kalau si collegegirl ini (agak) kelebihan hormon ABG nya.

So here I am, writing something about love. Tentunya dengan segala keterbatasan dan kenyinyiran saya terhadap subyek love itu sendiri.

Apa sih cinta itu ? Saya tidak punya definisi yang tepat, tapi sudah banyak orang hebat yang berhasil menggambarkan apa cinta itu ke dalam bentuk yang lebih grafik. Dari cerita klasik Romeo and Juliet, ke Broadway shows Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, sampai ke jaman vampire dengan Twillight saga nya. Semua berusaha menggambarkan cinta yang sejati, cinta yang rruarr biasa, cinta yang dahsyat. Saking dahsyatnya sampai salah satu pihak rela mati demi sang cinta. Tak bisa hidup tanpa sang kekasih pujaan hati. Sudah cukup romantis belum nih? Garis besarnya, cinta adalah perasaan menyayangi seseorang atau sesuatu yang sedemikian besarnya sehingga kita rela berkorban untuk orang atau sesuatu tadi. Cinta itu lebih besar dan lebih beharga dari diri kita sendiri. Kita rela menjadi selfless, tidak semuanya me,myself, and I. Kita rela kalau kepentingan kita ditaruh di urutan keseribu, dan kepentingan orang yang kita cintai itu ditaruh di barisan terdepan. Cinta kita kepada pasangan kita, kepada anak-anak kita, kepada orang tua kita, kepada keluarga, kepada teman baik kita adalah contoh selfless unconditional love. Tidak semua cerita cinta atau perasaan cinta mesti dibarengi dengan sengatan listrik 1000 watt yang menggelepar-gelepar. Itu dulu kali, pas masa remaja selagi hormon sedang tidak stabil dan saat kita sedang merasakan jatuh cinta untuk pertama kalinya. Seiring dengan berjalannya waktu, jatuh cinta mungkin tidak se-nggelepar-nggelepar dulu, tapi jangan sampai tidak ada sengatannya sama sekali. Cinta kalau sudah tidak ada sengatan listriknya sama saja dengan mati lampu, gelap gulita boo. Kadang-kadang, yang namanya manusia, sering terjebak dalam rutinitas yang itu-itu saja. Dan rutinitas itu bisa mempengaruhi rasa dan kesan cinta itu sendiri. Biasanya dampaknya menjadi lebih hambar.

Going away present

I just learned that one of my buddy is leaving Indonesia for good with her entire family. One of her kid is a friend of my son. My first reaction was (of course) bitchy. “NOOO!” “Not fair. Why didn"t you relocate to Magelang or Bandung? Why Europe?” “Who’s gonna do this and that for me?”

After all of those bitchiness and jealousy spread along on the table, I began to realize how happy I am for her and especially for her kids. This is a million dollar worth opportunity for them and for the kids’ future. She should go ahead and move forward. I will personally pack her inside a luggage if she hesitates even for one second. And yes, of course I will miss her. I will miss her kids. I will miss the comfortable zone I am in when she lives so close by to me. Who else could lend me batik, books, copy of school letters and homework? (my son is super careless at school, so both of us, me and my son, depend so much on her son for any school information). We can totally depend on her when it comes to food too. And nanny. And party. And (did I mention) school information?

I only know her for less than a year. However, she is sometimes the subject of my amusement and frustration. She is the type of person who is very kepo. Seksi sibuk, we call it. For her, sexy sibuk is more like it cos she is so-sexy in everything that she does. And I mean it in an adorable mocking way. She is also subject of my inspiration when writing about Women, like kita dan dugem, kita dan smoker (peace, dear).

It's A Wonderful Christmas

It’s A Wonderful Christmas
Friday 11 December 2009

My son’s school has just celebrated a Christmas concert. In an event sponsored and choreographed by the parents, this Christmas celebration was open to all students and parents regardless of their race and religion.
In my lifetime experience as a Catholic, this was my first experience coming to a Christmas celebration attended by quite variety of audience. There was a lot of “first times” for me too. The committee of this Christmas party was consisted of not only Christian-Catholic parents, but also non Christian-Catholic. Their contribution in so many ways, were more than was expected. The children who participated in the dance, drama, and choir were also coming from not just Christian-Catholic students, but other religions as well. And to add to my surprises, all of the parents and the children who actively participated and sponsored this event were doing this out of voluntary basis. No pressure. Pure voluntary.
It is easy to just say “no”, it is easy to just say “oh it’s not my religion”, “it’s not my party”, and “it’s not my concern”.

The event was very successful. We saw in the audience that the non Christian-Catholic parents came bringing their entire family to this event. The children merrily blend in, all wearing the Santa’s hats and red shirts. We even had Moslem parents sing Christmas songs on the stage, as a gift to us who celebrate Christmas.